i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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