I think I am morally bankrupt
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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