We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
