Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
