Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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