Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You ate ashes out of my bong
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
