There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
