she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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