are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
