so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
