were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
