Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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