I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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