worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
