these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
