I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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