Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
