So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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