You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's always time for handjobs
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
