As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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