scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
