Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
