i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
