I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
