It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
