Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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