You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
