I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
