Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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