Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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