our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
