So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
