My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
