I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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