What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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