I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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