I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
