So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
