she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
