i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
