he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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