If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize