the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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