that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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