u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
