He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
