You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
