you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
