nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
