just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize