Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
