It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
