They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
