i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
