I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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